W
hile children who are
playing in a group might
appear to naturally fall into
certain roles it is important
in relationship-building to encourage
them to explore different points of view
in an effort to boost self-confidence and
mutual respect. If you notice that your
child naturally takes on the ‘follower’
role during play dates, you might want
to encourage them to question this
and to challenge this positioning, in a
sensitive manner. Likewise, if your child
often takes on the ‘leader’ role, you
might want to ask them to think more
about asking the others for their opinions
and direction from time to time. Group
dynamics may be challenging at times,
so staying focused on the goal of the
children ‘working together’ is important
while observing and managing a group
play session. Structuring a session well
can help children feel comfortable and
ready to explore different roles – here are
five tips on how to do so:
1
Check in and check out
It is important for children to have
boundaries, stability, routine and
consistency. These are foundations
that work in playtime as in many other
aspects of our children’s lives. Checking
in and checking out at the start and
at the end of each play session can
help establish a safe and predictable
experience, especially for younger
children.
Checking in
With your guidance, each child can start
the play by sharing their feelings. A fun
way to do this that encourages creativity,
self-expression and imagination is to
use toy animals. You can demonstrate
by sharing your feelings first, saying for
instance, “My elephant feels happy.”
Each child can follow your lead and
pick an animal and say how it is feeling.
It can really get the imagination going.
There is no right or wrong, and it is an
exercise to help children feel accepted,
acknowledged, validated and heard, as
well as giving them a sense of belonging.
It can really boost confidence and self-
esteem too.
Taking turns during this activity can
give a child who is a leader and a child
who is a follower the opportunity to swap
roles. It helps to “step into” the other
child’s role to experience how it feels and
for the child to understand.
You can gauge the children’s energy
levels too through checking in exercises.
Using a musical instrument as a way to
share feelings can be an indicator of
how energetic they are feeling. One
child might softly tap a drum, whereas,
another child might hit it loudly. Once we
understand how the child feels, the more
sensitive we can be and our expectations
can change.
Checking out
Bringing a structured session to a close
in an organised way is important too.
You may use similar tools as for checking
in, comparing feelings between start
and finish, and also make it clear that
playtime is winding down. A calm and
orderly conclusion to the session is helpful
for everyone.
2
Establish rules
Establishing rules gives children a
clear foundation of what is expected
from them whilst they play together. It
teaches them respect. Encouraging
the children to help make the rules
allows new opportunity for growth and
inclusion. Let the children take turns to
give one rule at a time. You can write
down the rules on a big piece of paper
and stick it up where the children can see
IDEAS FOR CHECKING IN AND CHECKING OUT AT THE START AND FINISH
OF A PLAY SESSION, WITH OR WITHOUT WORDS:
• Show a picture to represent a feeling (eg photo of an excited face)
• Draw a quick picture to represent a feeling (eg a sun, a storm, a happy face, a sad face)
• Make a sound to express a feeling (eg hit the floor, clap hands)
• Name an animal to represent a feeling (eg I feel like a zebra today)
• Use a musical instrument to represent a feeling (eg bang on drum)
• Use movement to express a feeling (eg jump, run on spot)
• Show a colour to represent a feeling (eg yellow, blue, black, green, orange)
• Use a facial expression to represent a feeling (eg big smile, frowning eyebrows, sad face)
• Name a shape to represent a feeling (eg square, diamond, circle, triangle, rectangle)
March 2016
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